People who work hard to be players are often suffering from a lack of ability to make a commitment, and they can find they are running from relationships that have become serious. They want the safety, security, and even the work of being with someone far into the future. They can see the benefits other couples derive from making their relationships work, but they still freeze when the opportunity occurs. Rather than give up their single status, they begin to cling to it. It might be fun and challenging for a few years, but they will need to find out why they are doing it if they ever want a real relationship.
Loving and leaving can be fun for those who enjoy the chase, and that has often been cited as part of the attraction of being a player. Men and women alike find it is an exciting time when they are dating someone with the thought of becoming a real couple. This is true of nearly every romantic relationship in existence, but those who have turned into players find that commitment is a sticking point.
Their lack of ability in this area could be due to a bad divorce between their parents, or they might be frightened that they do not have the maturity to remain within a relationship. Some of them suffer from a lack of self-esteem, but others are simply afraid they will not be a good partner when things go wrong.
It might appear that those who are players are perfectly content with their role, and they often are for the first few years. While they might continue to be successful in their habits, many of them crave the love and security that comes with settling down. Their ability to chase and capture might look good on the outside, but it can become painful on the inside when they can never survive to form a real relationship.